


The Daily Life of Brosephus

by kathrikat



Category: Kakos Industries (Podcast)
Genre: Aliens, F/M, Gen, Sexual Undertones, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6769333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathrikat/pseuds/kathrikat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into Brosephus' life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Belladonica

     Brosephus had been assigned child watch for quite sometime now. It was a fair job. He got to mess around with the kids, and their wild antics. Nap time was easily the best part. Sleep _and_ get payed for it? Hell yeah. (Granted he wasn't actually supposed to sleep during this time, he just did it for the shits and giggles.) All the little brats who were sent here to learn Evil were taught by Brosephus. Social norms, how to not be fucking annoying. The usual things you'd find in a _good_ school , but Brosephus could promise that everything was, _inherently_ _Evil._

He was in the kid's playroom now, leaned against the far wall. A Kakos coin was tossed from his right palm every once in a while. It let out a low metallic zing as it flew from its peak, back down, and then back up again. For Brosephus, it was a better feeling than just standing there. Stimulated his senses.  


_Zing!_  


He stared down at the new recruit to Kakos Industries. Small, _Evil._ Kiarowac, now Belladonica, was sitting on one of the cheesy Dr. Seuss themed chairs. Her hair strayed into her face, lightly brushing against her small, button nose. Her legs swung almost gleefully as her eyes zipped across the pages of the book she was reading, and Brosephus grimaced when he saw the areas of the chair she touched were burning, turning to hot ash and oozing some sort of thick black liquid. It dripped, and seemed as heavy like molasses, and by now it was up to her feet, moving out toward the rest of the playroom. He liked to think it was fudge. Yeah, let's go with fudge. So, the _fudge_ was most likely going to flood the place by now. Perfect. Sometimes as she read, she would let out little giggles, or frown and furrow her brows in deep thought. Brosephus could get reading, books were great as hell, but didn't expect little Belladonica to read so _often_ as she did. The only thing that made him slightly irritated now was, that she had a book cover on the damn thing, meaning he had no idea was she was reading. For all he knew it could've been some bad fanfiction she had printed off, or- or something worse than fifty shades of grey. He laughed. Nothing was worse than that shithole of a book that somehow was published.  


Brosephus was an Evil therapist of sorts. He could be your best friend in .05 seconds. He clicked with everyone, was relatable because he had been through so much. Brosephus was anyone's pal, buddy, friend, chum, reasonable crony. This is also what made him work so well with kids. He could cheer up, teach, and play games with any kid on the block. No one could, nor has ever beaten his hide and seek record. Tag was probably the hardest, being the biggest target in the room and all. And he _hated_ hide and clap the most. The kids always fucking suggested it, and when he wasn't in the mood, he would just cheat to get back at them. Yeah, Brosephus could do a lot of things. His eyes flicked over to the girl in question.

  
Yet he still didn't know what she was reading.  


He had tried several things. Looking over her shoulder, using mirrors, even tried to straight up take a picture of it, but Belladonica had always found a way to stop him without even lifting either one of her little fingers. Now, still flipping a Kakos coin, he decided to try a different approach. One that probably should've popped into his head first thing, but he hated to go with cliches.   


"Hey, whatcha readin' there, kid?"  


_Zing!_  


No response. He hadn't expected on either. She hadn't uttered a single word since her arrival here. She sent him a little look, which was better than nothing, he supposed. He _had_ taught her and the other kids simple phrases in sign language to try and communicate with her but the best they could muster was giving her the middle finger and calling her bad names, two things which he had, in fact, did _not_ teach them. She seemed to appreciate the effort, but she didn't like to sign as much as she loved to write. Brosephus always found the kid writing. Diary entries, short stories, rants about how she was going to rule the world and scalp anyone that got in her way, anything, really. A lot of times he found these things, pieces of paper thrown in the trash, and on very special occasions some bratty kid would bring them to him straight up. Not once had the great Dark Mother Belladonica shown him one by herself. 

He tried to keep the conversation going.  


"You know, I used to read all the time when I was a kid. A few favorites were **definitely '** The Magician's Nephew', every Dr. Seuss book in sight, and 'Edgy Evilness' written by James Patterson."  


Still nothing. Not even a twitch towards her notepad. He wasn't trying to be creepy or anything, but connecting with the kid was a direct order from Corin. That and he felt that if he could at least get _one_ word from her then he had accomplished something for the week. He frowned and tried again.  


_Zing!_  


"You ever read anything like that, kid?"  


The coin didn't fall into his hand this time. The eyes behind his shades widened slightly as he watched it levitate from him into Belladonica's small hand, where she then promptly bent it, turned around, and began scratching into the wall with it. This was the third time today, and Brosephus was definitely going to have to clean that up later. He didn't look behind him until he heard her stop.  


**My name isn't kid you fucking idiot.  
**   


Brosephus put up his hands in mock defense when he met her glare.   


"Sorry k-, _Belladonia."_  


She shot another glare in his direction.  


**_"_** _ **Dark** Mother __Belladonica._ Sorry, none of the other kids like me to even think their names. It's like some sort of taboo for ol' Brosephus here to know. **Kid** gets them to respond, usually."  


Dark Mother Belladonica doesn't take notice to what he's saying. Brosephus lets out a chuckle.  


"Most of the kids here don't really like me."  


He continues, maybe she'll tell him something if she can pity him, or relate to him. Brosephus and Belladonica never really talked to each other before this, but he thought she was a good kid. A _terrifying_ good kid. He could see her taking over Kakos any day now. If Corin wasn't such a total fucking idiot, maybe he could learn more from her rather than spraying her with water every time she "fucked" something up. Not bothering to look up from her book, she sharply signed.   


**All kids.  
**   


Brosephus moved from the wall now, slightly squatting to speak at her level.   


"Hey now, that isn't very fair. I never asked to be the company baby sitter. They all just assume-"  


Belladonica was giving him a look now, one that really wanted to know the juicy details that revolved around Brosephus' secrets.  


"Not that any of that's important. I think you know how this place is, you don't have to hear it from me, bro. A-uh, Dark Mother Belladonica I mean."  


He stuttered, he had another Kakos coin now. The one Belladonica had used was just a bent, burnt nub now, burning a hole through the floor. Luckily, that wasn't in his department, so he wasn't going to worry about it. Belladonica's feet continued to swing, too immersed to really care or notice about his curious demeanor.  


"I really think this company just doesn't have,"  He gesticulated, trying to find the proper word. ""It" anymore, you know?"  


Belladonica twitched slightly.  


_"_ And I don't think it's Corin, he's a pretty cool guy once you savagely beat him at Mario Kart. It's just, everything in general. It all needs to be scrapped, rebuilt from the ground up."  


The coin landed into his palm. Heads up.  


"I think I could see you running this company in the future. You've got "it" and you're definitely Evil enough."  


He let out a low whistle, returning the coin to his pocket.   


"Change everything."  When Brosephus looked to Belladonica, her notepad had mysteriously appeared on her lap.  


"I- that just wishful thinking? I mean why take over Kakos? There's nothing special here. I'd say, what you'd have to do is-"   
_  
_

His rant was interrupted by the notepad being thrown in his face. The hand writing was scribbled, and he had to flip it in order to read it.  


_**Charlotte's Web**_  


He raised a brow, looking from the note pad to Belladonica. A smile crept onto his face.  


" _That's_ what you're reading? Like, Wilbur and shit? That pig was dope as fuck, bro."  


His rant continued for quite some time going on and on. He only hoped that Belladonica hadn't heard him call her "Bro". 

  
(She did.)


	2. Abducted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brosephus recalls the night he had with his girlfriend and got abducted by aliens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt. really short and shoddy but still good maybe? :/

     "There are several imbeciles at work saying that aliens don't exist, Brosephus. How am I supposed to work with people like this in my industry?" asked Corin, who was ranting to his co-worker/therapist.  
  
     "I met some aliens from outer space once," said Brosephus, as he thought back to that day.  
  
_The night sky was beautiful. Brosephus had just spent a lovely evening with his girlfriend. A dopey smiled crept up his face as he recalled the sound of **smacking**. The smacking of skin and the headboard of her bed up against the wall. The yelling of her neighbors being drowned out over the sound of his girlfriends name being moaned about to the same beat._

  
_Every touch lingered. He felt she-bops and boogies in his **veins** and he danced his way to the next set of stairs. Such a **lovely** girlfriend. Each step he took, took him higher still. __Such an **amazing** sky. Behind the heavy door, the wind hit him like a door on a hot Tuesday, though it was cold. Being on the roof of Kakos Industries made Brosephus feel invincible. Like he was king of the world. Constellions of long lost civilizations shone from above him. It screwed up his eyes while he danced. __He didn't notice the unidentified flying object hovering above him and was laughing at nothing in particular when he found himself drifting away from the ground. Weightless. He accepted his fate, surrounded by a plethora of blinding light. He silently thanked himself for being weird enough to wear his sunglasses at night. There was an odd comfort in the unknown._

  
_He didn't know how much time had passed when he woke up sitting on a couch. A normal, human shaped couch. Perhaps none had passed at all. The room was painted in neon and the only source of lighting was a black light and a small lamp coming from behind him. Wow. How pretty everything looked under the blacklight. It really made those two green figures in front of him stand out..._

  
_Neon green under black light turned a blinding turquoise. So saturated. He sunk further into the couch. Soo relaxed. Hunched over an N64, they sat upon spray painted blankets. The room looked foggy. The fries that were in buckets next to them were calling out to his growling stomach, and whatever else they were cooking smelled **delicious**. _

  
_"So you're up, dude. Want to eat copious amounts of food with us and play video games?" asked one. Their eyes were black. Brosephus couldn't stop imagining them as black holes. Infinite and ever longing, swirling into the deep abyss of nothingness that Brosephus called his life. He was falling and falling drifting away and going ever so closer to some sort of new life altogether._

  
_"Is there gonna be some tight recreational use of things I have no knowledge of?"_  
  
_The alien shrugged and said, "Definitely."_  
  
_"Awesome," awed Brosephus, as the two creatures sat next to him. Bliss._  
  
     A shit eating grin spread across his face. He still doesn't remember how he got home.  
  
     "They were pretty down to Earth," he concluded.

 

 


End file.
